This article is part of a series of articles within the Soul Master Handbook. Each article represents an aspect or a quality of the soul. Taking a deeper look at these qualities will provide an opportunity for readers to touch a part of their soul that they may have not yet touched or experienced. Once touched, the road continues to widen and straighten as we go forward in becoming the master of our own soul.
"There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don't you?"
• Rumi
Love is such a misunderstood and confusing thing, isn't it? When we appear to have it, it seems so wonderful, and yet, when it appears to go away, it is very painful. But looking at love like it is hunger, where when the stomach is full, all is well, but when the stomach is empty, it drives us to find food no matter where it comes from or what it is. When we look at ourselves regarding love as the empty vessel that needs to filled, then unfortunately we will never find enough love to fill it. But when we see ourselves already filled with love, then nothing is ever anything, but love.
I know these platitudes about love have been said before. We know these things are true in our hearts, and yet we continue to do things the way we always have been, and we keep getting the same painful results. The reason we do this is because we do not believe in the love of ourselves. We do not really believe that we ARE love. We do, after all, make a lot of mistakes, hurt others, selfishly want things, and so on.
So, why don't we take the time and energy we need to find love in our own heart? Intellectually, we know this is needed. The reason we don't take the time and energy to find our own self love is because there is so much going on in our heads about our needs that we feel compelled to keep searching. It's an itch we can't scratch and it's called ego identity. Listen to your own thoughts and see the many things the little ego voice tells you that you must do to get this, or to achieve that, or to impress him, and to save face with her. Subtly, and usually unconsciously, we are always grasping at the next thing to fill a need.
This ego voice, developed early on from our first inklings of separation from a loving soul, tells us that to be something, anybody, we must have someone that loves us, or else we must not be worth anything. Next thing you know, when you don't have anybody that "loves" you, you convince yourself that you are in fact pretty worthless. What can you do? What can you do to make yourself worthy? Maybe if I dress this way, or maybe if I'm really smart, or rich, or have a killer body, or whatever.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
The best way to sum up our resistance to looking for love in the only place it can ever be found, which is within our highest divine self, is fear. Fear is ego's identities friend. We fall into the fear trap because we want to resist the things that hurt us, (we've all been hurt by our idea of love), so our ego, uses the fear to remind us to keep looking, grasping, straining to find love anywhere. (By the way, ego is not mean or evil. It is, after all, a product of your own creation. Ego really thinks it is doing the right thing, but it resists your efforts to connect with your higher self because where would that leave ego?) There are many individual reasons why we choose to live from a fear driven existence, but the bottom line is we are so afraid of losing (love, life itself, pride, status, identity and I could go on forever here), that we cannot stop ourselves from clinging to the notions that our next heart's desire MUST only a step away, IF ONLY... This time it will work, right?
"Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself."
• Rumi
I know this might not ever happen, (although allegorically it happens all the time), but I ask you to consider that you are stranded on a desert island. Over time, you will use up all the resources around you to survive. Finally, you have a decision to make. Either rely on yourself for everything you need going forward, or allow yourself to slowly wither away and die waiting for something to happen that might change things. You decide on the former and begin to build a safe structure, learn to find food, find entertainment and enjoyment from nature and the wildlife. You discover joy and love with your newfound respect and admiration of the person you have become. You realize that you already possessed everything you ever needed to survive and to live in peace. Then a funny thing happens, just when you are basking in your love of yourself and seeing the beauty and the majesty of everything around you, a ship appears on the horizon.
When we finally have to face our fear of losing, we understand that things we cling to are not the things that come from love anyway. But, if we can stop the madness of perpetual grasping towards ANYTHING that appears to fill our need for love, we begin to FEEL the love that is already there waiting for us.
We need not go anywhere for love. Love is not something we need to seek out, we are love. But what does this really mean? It means that God, Creator, and Source of all that is, is Love and we (me and you), are the outcome of that love expressed. We are love first and foremost. Then comes all that other stuff about free will and self actualization and blah, blah, blah. Start with love! This is the beginning of self actualization anyway. How can you find yourself ever, if you don't even know what or who you are! Our job, our purpose is to express God, Love! Why else would we possible be here, in this amazing universe? Quit thinking so small! We are here to close the gap between the finite and the infinite so there will never be separation in consciousness again. We are the mirrors to Universal Love. If we are not seeing it that way - we simply need to clean the mirror.
The dirty mirror is part of the process. We must discover this love in us ourselves to recognize the reality of it. If I just told you that you had blonde hair, would you just trust me and believe it? NO! You would go in the mirror and look for yourself. Then you would say, yes, I do have blonde hair. God told us we are love, but he also handed us the mirror. See, See for yourself! You are both the love God created and the mirror to reflect it. You have everything you need to find this out for yourself, but it must be your job to do it.
Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it - Rumi.
We look in the direction of out for love when we should be looking in. Looking "in" does not mean we see a little Buddha type man sitting in the pit of our stomachs waiting for us to come home to love. It means that we recognize our true nature is not physical, or our mind, but is a consciousness that is blended with our Source and always accessible.
Understanding our true identify (which, by the way, is not mom, boss, lover, fireman, or any job title or label we have created), is lovingly accepting who we are, right now. We are not our past, our labels, our body, our mind, our achievements, our trophies, or our lineage. We are a soul first, and that soul is made of love. If we don't get this, or more importantly, if we don't feel this, we cannot express divine love and we cannot truly experience love.
Affection is not love, although it may be a doorway towards love. A mother beams when she sees her child hugging the dog with genuine love. A father melts when his child reaches up a little hand to his. God is expressed when his child (you) recognizes the love He is, in you. Affection, when expressed with genuineness, pokes all sort of holes in our barriers of fear.
My friends, the sun shines always, even when the clouds hide her radiance. Love wipes the clouds away. This love is you! See through the eyes of love and everything is changed. And the first place to see this radiance is by seeing this radiance in your own self. See yourself being and giving big love, deep enduring love. The kind of love that lifts you up in grace and joy. You are that!
Look for ways every moment to accept the awesomeness of you. Please don't mistake this for egotism and vanity. This is an awesomeness you feel and experience about yourself because you accept yourself the way you are, and you begin to see yourself express the fearlessness, compassion, and pure energy and love that you are. You don't deny your faults - you transcend them by waking up. Life starts to become about living each moment in love, regardless of what situation you are in, and not about making sure each moment has met your needs.
When in doubt, or feeling lost or afraid, choose Love - always! - Joleen
The fastest path to genuine love is to experience love within yourself first. If you feel afraid to let go of the things that make you feel loved, then you are still not seeing yourself as the love that you are. It is impossible to feel love and fear at the same time. Fill yourself with love and the fear will diminish. Be very alert to how you treat yourself with your thoughts and actions. Be loving, kind, and compassionate. Be quiet in the mind and let the sun (love) radiate within you. Trust me, it will start to touch others as well and many things will begin to grow from the sunshine of your love. So, to summarize - God is Love. You are a loving creation of the Universal Creator. You are Love. Period.
We don't see things the way they are. We see them the way WE are - Talmud
Be Love.
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